Everyday Heroes

Day after day they work

Putting their lives on the line for us

I’ve never met them

They have no idea who I am either

But I’m grateful for what they do

If only they knew that

What drives them to do it?

What could possibly make them do it?

They sleep with guns an arm’s length away,

Um, scary? I think yes

Walking the streets of foreign lands

Spending months, even years away from their families

Talking to them only when they have connection

Their only hold is the photo they keep in the front pocket

Tucked safely away with the note from their wives

The only tangible memory of them

The family back home questions, worries

Go days without seeing them

Missed events: birthdays, bike rides, proms, anniversaries

Going to bed without even a hug

Kissing the frame by their bedside

Praying that they will survive yet another day

Maybe soon they will get transferred home

They hold onto that wish as they drift to sleep

Only to wake up the next day and not see them there

Maybe things will be different one day

But for now what more can we do?

Dear Soldier the most I can say is thank you

Your sacrifices are great

And I can never repay you

I respect you

I’m grateful for you

Thank you for fighting for my freedom

Favorite Movie

Hmm.... That is really hard cause there are so many. You'd think that my favorite movie would be Legally Blonde, cause, hello, Elle Woods, it would just make sense. I think I will just talk about the most recent movie I have seen in theaters, HUNGER GAMES! So good. I actually really liked the movie, I think the directors did a really good job creating the scenes, and following the book. It was very nice. Okay and a bit on Legally Blonde. I just think that movie is so fun. It is really quite hysterical, and so I like it.

So those are my favorite movies that I'm not afraid to talk about, but what about the movies that have been our favorite since I was two? They sit unwatched like that gross cereal that your mom keeps buying but it keeps getting pushed to the back cause she's the only one that eats it. You run across it every now and again only to move on. But really one day won't we become like our parents. Reaching for the cereal with the healthy stuff in them cause our bodies can't take all that sugar anymore. Won't that happen with the movie? One day we will see it and think of our childhood. Maybe we will indulge ourselves. Babysit for a neighbor and put it in so you can secretly relive your childhood. Secretly belt out the Lion King Hakuna Matata. Cry when the Beast is on the roof and it feels like all hope is lost. Laugh at the exchange between Buzz and Woody. Ahh, those were the days, the good times, the movies.

So really my favorite movies are hiding behind some box, somewhere, waiting for the moment when I decide to relive my childhood.


~Elle Woods

Taking Chances: My Ode to Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood

And sorry I could not travel both. . .

 

There I stand.

Which road do I take next?

The one which has been there forever?

Or that once in a lifetime opportunity?

I hate not knowing what the future holds

All these options being thrown at us now

The world is telling us to decided the next step

That step leads us to the rest of our future.

So many doubts run through my mind

What if it’s wrong? What if it’s right?

What if it’s too hard? What if I fail?

There is one thing I know for certain in life,

It’s my secret weakness that I think I can share,

I hate that word,

FAILURE

It’s so vulgar, so depressing, so upsetting

I think maybe that is my real fear here

That fear that what if I choose the road that leads me to failure

Then what?

I have no option then,

It’s not like I can go back and start over

So that’s it, isn’t admitting you have a problem the first step to recovery?

Well I have taken that first step, but now what?

I guess there isn’t really a second,

I just have to choose

I am doing no good to myself sitting on the fence and watching the world rush by without me

So I’ve made up my mind

I have my decision,

I’m not going to waste my time anymore on worries

I’m going to work on making that choice the better one

I’m not giving up on myself

That word, failure, yeah it’s not going to be a part of it

There is no room for failure

Only room for taking chances and learning from mistakes

Mistakes are not failures if you fix them the next time around.

Here I go,

Working my hardest to be my best.

. . . I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

My Poetry

I write it

It’s compiled of papers

Scattered from all different places

Equations from math are etched in the back

George Washington and other president’s timelines cover the sides

But at least I wrote it down

All those days of not paying attention in class

Maybe they are finally paying off

Maybe this is me finding my calling in life

Maybe, probably not

I hide it from most people

Afraid of what they might say if they actually saw it

No I don’t spill my secrets

But I say what I feel

I have no inhibitions

I don’t care what others have to say

Maybe that is the scariest part

But if they actually saw it what would I do

It might be too late to transfer schools

But maybe not

Oh but it just isn’t fair

So what if I stated my mind

It’s my poetry after all right

Or is it for you?

Did I write it so just in case someone saw it I wouldn’t be mortified?

I hope not

I really thought that it was for me.

I really thought that it was mine

That no one could take that outlet away from me

Subconsciously what if I still follow all the rules

Those stupid, confining rules of literacy

They say that I can’t end a sentence in the middle of . . .

Hmm. Look at that, I just did.

So there

Nope it’s for me

That proves it

It’s still my outlet

But it’s not for you to see

It’s mine

My poetry.

~Elle Woods

I Want to Be a Poet

Like a fading piece of cloth
I am a failure.

When I first read this I thought for sure it was going to be another depressing poem.
Maybe it's that word failure,
It's such a heavy word to throw around that when I hear I become depressed
I think about all that I have failed,
I think about what I may currently be failing,
Mostly I think of what if I do fail, how bad will that make me?

No longer do I cover tables filled with food and laughter
My seams are frayed my hems falling my strength no longer able
To hold the hot and cold

My depression deepens after reading this.
Not only did we fail the first time,
But apparently we continued to fail, leading us to the breaking point
When we are no longer holding ourselves together anymore
When we are no longer allowed to be ourselves,
That is depressing.

I wish for those first days
When just woven I could keep water
From seeping through
Repelled stains with the tightness of my weave
Dazzled the sunlight with my
Reflection

Regrets
I wish for a life of no regrets
I wish to be able to look back and realize that
I did the best I could
I think I will work on that

I grow old though pleased with my memories
The tasks I can no longer complete
Are balanced by the love of the tasks gone past

See we’re looking up now
Life was good,
We might have regrets, but they are small in comparison,
Comparison to what we have accomplished
The memories of the good times,
What a great sigh of relief

I offer no apology only this plea:
When I am frayed and strained and drizzle at the end
Please someone cut a square and put me in a quilt
That I might keep some child warm
And some old person with no one else to talk to
Will hear my whispers
And cuddle near

All we want is to be remembered,
To find out that what we did in life meant something
Us being there made a difference in someone else’s life
Service, we hope that we can be remembered for what we did for others
We will be there when others need us most
We will be a friend

What a happy ending to a depressing beginning
I guess that just goes to prove
No matter how bad a situation may seem,
We can always make it better.

~Elle Woods

P.S. this was my analysis of the poem Quilts by Nikki Giovanni
The way she captured the opposites of happy and sad
The way she exemplified how different outlooks really make a difference
She really makes me wish I was a poet.

Sleep

Lying there staring at the ceiling

Counting sheep

But sleep never comes.

The creaks in the house echo through my room

Bouncing between the window and the dresser

Tick tock, tick tock

Time never stops it keeps going,

But where does it go?

When I close my eyes what happens?

Where does my mind go?

I reach my breaking point

Finally falling captive to that looming darkness

Sleep

My mind wanders

Traveling through the empty house,

Exploring each crevice

Storing the previous day away

Hiding some moments

Holding others out in the open to share with all

While clutching some moments close to my heart

I replay those moments and they come to life

The sounds, the smells, the smiles, the tears

It all comes flooding back

In waves of memories

Time never stops it keeps going

Moving on

It travels to all the places I’ve been

It hides behind the desk

That holds me captive during the day

It reaches out to me

Acting out what I wish I would have just said

If only, if only

It’s my one more chance to stand out

It takes me to all the places I wish to go

Hiking the hillside of the Himalayas,

Biking the bottom of the Grand Canyon

Riding the dizzying roller coasters of Disneyland

Standing atop the ridge lines of Scotland

Looking out among the rolling waves coming in

Those waves of memories

Filling the room

Jumbling together to create dreams

Unfolding all the moments like a map

Only to fold them back up

And file them neatly away

Behind the tab titled memories

My mind continues to wander

Time keeps going

Tick tock echo through my room

Beep BEep BEeP BEEP BEEP!!!

The alarm sounds

Awakening me to the reality of time

It continued on without me

While all I did was sleep

~ Elle Woods

Attitude is Everything

I needed another post, but just couldn't think of anything else to write. I decided to google the term Uplifiting Stories and found this one on Attitude:

Think About your Attitude

Michael is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say.

When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"

He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Michael was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation. Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Michael and asked him, "I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?"

Michael replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood. I choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or...I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or... I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.

"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested.

"Yes, it is," Michael said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live your life."

I reflected on what Michael said. Soon hereafter, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that Michael was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower.

After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care. Michael was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back. I saw Michael about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Wanna see my scars?"

I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place.

"The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon to be born daughter, " Michael replied. "Then, as I play on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or ...I could choose to die. I chose to live."

"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked.

Michael continued, "...the paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared.
In their eyes, I read "he's a dead man. I knew I needed to take action."

"What did you do?" I asked.

"Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me, said Michael. "She asked if I was allergic to anything. "Yes, I replied."

The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled,"Gravity."

Over their laughter, I told them, "I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead."

Michael lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully. Attitude, after all, is everything.

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34

After all today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

After I read this all I could do was think how much our attitude affects every aspect of our lives. Remember in life, things won't always go your way, we've all experienced defeat but it is how you deal with it that really matters. I choose to be happy.

~ Elle Woods

Never Give Up Hope

Who said we had to grow up?

At what point in our lives are we required to let go of our childhood dreams?

Those days of wishing to grow up and be doctors or astronauts,

Why did we give up?

When did we realize that not every child our age would grow up to become the president?

More importantly when did we decide that it wouldn’t be us who would be president?

It’s just not fair.

It’s not fair that the world has told us what we have to become

It’s not fair that we have been told to be someone else

We have to come up with some reasonable boring desk job,

When we were little it was all about adventure.

All about playing with our friends,

All about riding our bikes and rollerblading during the summer

All about making it to Harvard, and being a genius

When coloring perfectly inside the lines meant we would be the next Picasso.

Well I’ve decided that I will not give that up.

No I’m no artist, and I knew that as a child,

But who says I can’t be a brilliant doctor.

No one, that’s who,

No one will tell me what I can and cannot do

I will never give up hope on what I want to become,

And you shouldn’t either.

The First and Last

It’s the end

Okay maybe not the end, but the last

It’s the last basketball game of our senior year

The last time we ride the spirit bus

The last time we get to cheer we love Quincy

It’s the last time

But it’s all the beginning

The beginning of new chances

The beginning of new opportunities

The chance to start over

Maybe cheer at the U of U, or BYU or USU games as a student

It’s our opportunity

It’s not the end,

It’s only the beginning.